Monday, July 14, 2014

La Palapa, Port Orchard WA

It was a hot and steamy night in Port Orchard. The kind of sultry summer night that lends itself to romance and intrigue in this deceptively sleepy waterfront town.

Perusing the shop windows and looking for a little mischief, I saw him...sauntering down the street as if he owned the world. He had the certain something you see in IT men. That knowing glance that says "I can crash your network before I've even finished my morning coffee, and you'll never know what happened".

Khaki pants, comfortable shoes, a card key and cell phone strapped to his belt like Batman.

Oh yes, he would be mine.

Wait, he is mine, that's my husband.

We decided to try La Palapa (which, by the way is conveniently located next to our favorite martini bar). We'd seen it open and the Yelp reviews looked good, so OLE!

Walking in the decor is spartan (and that's being generous) Cement floors, wood tables and chair and almost nothing on the walls. This lends itself to being REALLY REALLY LOUD. Especially when an unsupervised toddler is running screaming through the restaurant. This was a rather significant snap back from my earlier view of said sultry eve.

Seriously, it was like a daycare but without the glamour.

We were adventurous! We were committed! We were going to sit in the bar where the screaming toddler couldn't reach us (not that the sound didn't carry, but it would keep him from drooling on my Kate Spade bag).

We were approached quickly by a delightfully cheery server. Cocktails? Yes please!

Beloved order a Cadillac Margarita, I ordered a large Pacifico.

The beer? HOLY CRAP! It was bigger than my head, and I have a big head. That's fine for a martini, but in a beer, it just makes me burp all through dinner. All pretenses to being a seductive siren this evening are dashed. Likely, he knows me well enough that this isn't a huge surprise.

Seriously though, I could have taken a bath in this beer. I needed two hands to hoist it.

His margarita was, in his words "meh". He swears there was no Grand Marnier in it.

I decided to order a couple of tacos ala carte. Fish taco (grilled) and shrimp taco. Both were good, would have been GREAT if they would have seasoned the seafood a little bit. Once I added a touch of salt, they came alive. Really really good. I didn't have any rice/beans nonsense. I like that you can economically piece together what you want for your plate. That's a fantastic option.

He order the Ceviche Tostada. It was, in a word, perfect. Fresh, crisp, and generally awesome. I ate more than my fair share of his dinner. I would order this again and again.

He also has the tortilla soup. It's not my favorite, but he really liked it. Had grilled chicken but ws made with beef stock. I thought it was weird, and wouldn't recommend it.

No room for dessert, but they had the usual, fried ice cream, flan, yadda yadda yadda.

Overall:
I'd rate it a solid B. The food was good and fresh, albeit they could use a slightly heavier hand with the salt. Prices were very reasonable as well. Not somewhere I would go for a snack and a drink (the drinks just weren't that good) but for dinner, we'll go again. If they do something to make it feel less like a loud cavern, I could see this becoming a regular haunt for us.



Monday, June 2, 2014

Salty's on Alki :Brunch Addition

As usual, I'm going to start with my normal diatribe about previous experiences, expectations etc. That said:

GREAT view here and I love love love their happy hour. Interesting drinks and fun small plates to share. Service is always good without being cloying.

Beloved and I were trekking to Seattle for the day and I thought "Brunch!" No kids, no one on call, let's splurge. I'd heard great things about Salty's brunch (come to think of it, mostly from Salty's..hmmmmm) so, what the hell, let's blow $49.99 per person and see what the "best brunch in Seattle" tastes like.

LOVE that they have complementary valet parking. That's a huge thing for me.

Walked in the well trod entrance..HOLY CRAP! This place is busy. Really busy. Screaming
 kids and and LOAD piano busy. OK, maybe the kids weren't all that screamy, but one did almost take me out at the knees.

Checked in and did a little "buffet recon" and reported back the lay of the land. Gotta say, everything look appealing. Two young men just standing there shucking oysters? Contemplated just pulling my chair up there for brunch. Odds were though that would be more annoying than the toddler ballistic missile, so rethought that plan.

Seated by our reservation time. Score one for their scheduling.

Seated at a lovely comfy booth with a great view. This is starting well. Cocktail menu looked enticing, and, well, build your own Bloody Mary station? Yes please.

Waiting.....waiter filling other table's water.

Waiting....waiter removing dirty plates from other tables.

Waiting....waiter actively avoiding eye contact.

Waiting...waiter finally notices there are carbon based life forms at what was his only empty table!

I get that the waiter doesn't need to be at my table the second I sit down but, raise an eyebrow, nod, wave, something to acknowledge my existence within 3 minutes. Any gesture recognized as a bid at Sotheby's will do. Really, I'm not that fussy. Even hubby noticed we seemed to be set on auto-ignore.

Cocktail order taken..he then explained, ad nauseum a "strategy" to take just a little at each station so you don't fill up too quickly. Um, we've actually eaten at buffet's before. Maybe I was just testy by this point, but if I'm paying $50 just to sit down, I'll use any "strategy" that amuses me. I did buffet recon, I'm on it.

The Food
I can eat my weight in fresh seafood, so I bee lined straight for that station. Childish, but by this point feeling a tad entitled.

Plate full of Oysters? Check! Seriously, these guys weren't even looking at the oysters when they schucked them. I wanted to pack just one of these guys up and bring them home with him. I always end up just yelling at the oyster (which doesn't work, but makes me feel better). My bestie insists the only way that works is to yell at them in Russian.

Now in line for the other seafood, crab, shrimp....waiting...waiting while a guest stands at the chafing dish of steamed mussels and clams pulling individual mussels out of the shells and putting them on her plate. A LOT of them. Leaving nothing but shells for those behind her. Awesome.

They did a great job of keeping the stock replenished but the seafood station, arguably the most popular, was tucked in the corner which made for awkward queuing and egress.

Grabbed shrimp and Dungeness. The chilled shrimp were PERFECT. Clearly cooked that morning for just the right amount of time and then chilled quickly. Seriously, perfect peel and eat shrimp.

Lox? Like butter. I wanted to fashion it into a dress and just nibble on it all day (coral is a universally flattering color).

The Dungeness, unfortunately, tasted like the previously frozen variety. Given the volume they must pump this out on a busy brunch, I get it but honestly, looking out over Puget Sounds on a lovely Sunday, I really wanted fresh. I wanted to know it want swimming around making threatening gestures to its tank mates. Dungeness really are some of the most foul tempered creatures on the planet. Maybe their deliciousness is what makes them so surly? Maybe I've over thought the connection between being foul temper and being tasty and delicious? Maybe given my generally foul temper, I should forego this line of thought?

I may just tear up a bit here.

Husband went for more variety, which seemed to be a mistake.

Prime rib was tough and over done. Really, needed a steak knife tough. Steak knives, I may add, which were not provided.

Salmon Benedict? Dry, overcooked. I wasn't that surprised, rally, how long can you keep a poached eggs perfect in a chafing dish? Why would you even try?

The cocktails?
I went for the special of the day which was a vodka/rose concoction with cranberry. It was light, fresh and, for me, the perfect brunch cocktail.

My beloved went for the Bloody Mary bar use they did have a really impressive variety of mixes. He picked Tomatillo. While I get it, I don't think overall it was a visually pleasing choice. It was the color of baby foods peas. The he added Clamato juice, making it the color of mildewy sludge. Seriously, I couldn't even watch him drink it. AND he kept making me taste it. Spicy, but I just couldn't get past the color. Remember the slime from GhostBusters? Yes, not that pretty. And it was thick. The texture (yes, a drink had texture) was gag inducing. This is coming from the person who likes raw oysters,  Just sayin, try this at your own peril.

Round 2, I tried the "hot" station.

Fried clams? Rubber

Mac and cheese, separated and oily. Kielbasa? Why would you put that in there? Why? Maybe that's why it was greasy.

Chose not to investigate further.

More oysters? Yes please.

Dessert time....serious tables of dessert. I decided to try a few things. Cream puff, macaroon in dark chocolate, and a red velvet cupcake. All were OK, but not "rub all over your face" good. Took a bite and moved on.

Then, the cupcake. Oh, the humanity. It had some suspicious pinkish frosting (which I usually scrape off anyway. Not a frosting girl). Cut into the cupcake and...IT WAS PINK INSIDE! Not red as in RED VELVET, but a watered down rainbow pony pink.  The shock, the horror, the utter disappointment because I really really love red velvet cake.

Overall
Overall I'd give this a B-. Both highs and lows, and granted, if you want amazing eggs, don't pull them from a chafing dish.

I didn't try the pasta or omelette stations, and focused on things I don't usually cook at home, but I will say, everything I saw coming off the fresh stations looked really nice.

We both felt we could have used more love from our waiter (if you take the shell bowl, please bring us a new one before we have to ask).

The little doughnuts they give you when you first sit down don't suck either.