Tuesday, March 12, 2013

Lone Star Cafe, San Antonio

Oh, San Antonio.......

She Said:

So, I had never been to the great state of Texas, and after enjoying a celebrity chef experience, we decided to hoof it around the River Walk and get dinner (well, that and we didn't have a car, so bi-pedal locomotion really was our only option)

That said, it Texas! It's BIG! Ranches! MEAT!

I WANTED STEAK! BIG TEXAS STEAK!

That was my first mistake.

As it was a Saturday night, we expected a wait. Hey, what's that? A bar? Well, alrighty then. I had my first Coronarita.

It won't be my last.

Hello Lover.

We were finally seated at the farthest table from the entrance. It was really freaking cold. In the whole place, outside, there were 2 working heaters (That were near the front. People were huddled around them like characters in a Jack London novel)

Appetizer:

We decided to share the stuffed jalapenos. Please note, I'd had my first stuffed jalapeno the day before (yes, I'm a hot food sissy) and liked it. A lot. So, we decided to try them again.

I get that it's a busy restaurant, but these were so obviously frozen (and not good frozen) I could pick these up in the grocery store.

Salads:

Wow, iceberg, a tomato wedge, ranch dressing and some dead bread. Last time I dined that well I was having lunch in the cafeteria at North Farmington HS.

Seriously, why did they bother?


Entrees:

So I had the rib-eye (my absolute FAVORITE CUT EVER), the big guy had a strip.

My Steak was cook properly, but paper thin. Kudos to the chef who can get a mid-rare on a steak you could read a newspaper through. Seriously, I want that guy at my next BBQ.

Side was a baked potato. It was so steaming hot the butter wouldn't even melt. Seriously. Or, it may have been piping hot but froze on it's journey through the wasted tundra; the location of our table.

The Big Guy's steak was also a perfect medium. Their grill-man is a genius.

We decided to splurge and go for the extra charge for his side to be mac and cheese.

BLECH!

This was a disaster. Cold (perhaps again the tundra effect), pasty, unseasoned drek. Awful.

Dessert:

OK, we're in the south...Peach Cobbler! Perfect!

Yea, not so much. OK, when 2 people who are still hungry can't finish their dessert, it's bad.

SO MUCH CORNSTARCH

SO MUCH SUGAR

Seriously, we had trouble identifying the peaches they were so overpowered by starch and sugar.

Luckily, one thing did manage the passage to the tundra successfully, the ice cream on the cobbler! Yes, it was still perfectly frozen!

Overall:

Major suckage, and that's not the residual effects of hypothermia talking.

NOTHING except the cocktail was good. And the service. Our waiter was pretty good. Oh yea, and the bartender was kinda cute. But I came for dinner, not to find a date (had one!)

Overall, D- (because neither of us got sick afterwords. I figured they deserved a little love for not giving us food poisoning)






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